Looking Back/Looking Forward

Earlier this week I went into Salt Lake City to have lunch with my mom.  I met her at her office and while waiting for her, I perused the miscellaneous items on her desk.  One item in particular caught my eye. A picture. This picture.  

That's me on my last day in the Philippines.  We were just about to enter the airport to head home; I weighed 150 pounds.  

When I got home, I went back to working at Winger's.  (I still work there, by the way, and I will probably work there forever because there is no escape.)  Anyway.  Now I weigh...not 150 pounds.  

I actually didn't really notice my weight gain at all- until I started seeing pictures of me on Facebook.  This picture, I've decided, is the last straw.  

That's me in the grey cardigan, in case you were wondering.

I'm really quite embarrassed by this picture.  Especially after a fellow missionary commented on it.  "Ang laki ng batch ko," she wrote.  I'm not that much bigger than I was, am I? I thought.  Apparently I am. 

So, here's a confession.  I, like so many other people, have body image issues.  It is common to think that only women suffer from body image issues, but research has shown that it affects more and more men each year.

Recent research has shown that Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD), a preoccupation with an imagined physical defect, affects just as many men as it does women.  BDD is not just limited to weight and body image, it also affects complexion, body hair, hair loss, and wrinkles.  

I'm determined to get back down to my on-the-mission weight.  It won't be easy.  But I'm gonna get there.  I have some really cool t-shirts and pants I desperately want to fit back in to.